# Rapoport's rule debate: restate before you disagree

> Build the habit of restating the other person's position until they agree, and only then disagreeing. 40 minutes, two teams, 8 or more people. Flow, debrief question

Source: https://couchinfo.com/en/exercises/rapoport-rule-debate/

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Exercise · Conflict Resolution for Managers

## The Rapoport's Rule Debate

Build the habit of restating the other person's position until they agree, and only then disagreeing.

Time **40 minutes**

Participants **Two teams, 8 or more people**

Materials **Topics for drawing lots, a timer**

From the training **Conflict Resolution for Managers**

### Why this exercise

As long as people aren't sure they've been understood, they don't hear other arguments — they repeat their own. The rule philosopher Daniel Dennett named after mathematician Anatol Rapoport breaks the loop: before you disagree, restate your opponent's position so that they say "yes, exactly". A restatement takes 20 seconds and saves half an hour of arguing.

### How to run it

1. Draw lots for a topic (for example, "Remote work is more productive than office work") and a side for each team.
2. 7 minutes: teams prepare arguments and choose three speakers: presenter, opponent and emotional advocate.
3. "For" presenter — 3 minutes. The "Against" opponent first restates their arguments, gets "yes, exactly" and only then objects.
4. Then the "Against" presenter and the "For" opponent, then the emotional advocates — by the same rules.
5. No confirmation of the restatement — it is repeated. Round two: a new topic, teams swap sides.

### Debrief questions

- What was harder: arguing or restating?
- What changed in the argument when you had to restate?
- How could you apply the rule in your meetings?

 **Tips for the facilitator**

- If the opponent distorts the restatement, ask the presenter: "Do you agree?" — that is the main lesson.
- Keep the topics work-related and neutral; if a topic touches someone personally, change it.

This exercise is part of a training kit

#### [Conflict Resolution for Managers](https://couchinfo.com/en/training/conflict-resolution-for-managers/)

2 days · 13 hours · 18 exercises · trainer guide with what to say, slide deck, workbook, cards and tests.

 [The kit from $229](https://couchinfo.com/en/training/conflict-resolution-for-managers/)

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