Exercise · Conflict Resolution for Managers
What Is Behind the Position?
Learn to uncover the interests behind demands with questions — without persuading and without "why".
Time20 minutes
ParticipantsPairs
MaterialsPosition cards
From the trainingConflict Resolution for Managers
Why this exercise
In a conflict people argue from positions: "I won't work on Saturday", "The report has to be daily". Positions exclude each other, but interests are often compatible. This is the core of Fisher and Ury's "Getting to Yes". The exercise trains a manager's key skill in an argument: asking what matters to the person.
How to run it
- Each pair gets two position cards: "I won't work on Saturday", "This client is mine", "We don't need the new system" and so on.
- One person states the position and makes up their own interest, without saying it.
- The other has 3 minutes to find out the interest with questions: "What matters most to you here?", "What are you concerned about?", "What would a solution need to include to work for you?"
- Check: did they guess? Swap roles with the second card.
- Group debrief: which questions worked best.
Debrief questions
- Which question uncovered the interest fastest?
- What happened when you wanted to persuade?
- Where in your team might a position hide an unexpected interest?
Tips for the facilitator
- Ban the question "why" — it sounds like a demand to justify yourself.
- If a pair slips into arguing, bring them back: "Right now the task is to understand, not to convince."
More
The whole librarySimilar exercises
Conflict Resolution for Managers
The Red — Blue Game
Experience the choice between winning "for myself" and "for both", and see how distrust triggers escalation.
Conflict Resolution for ManagersThe Rapoport's Rule Debate
Build the habit of restating the other person's position until they agree, and only then disagreeing.